I have been thinking a lot about 2012 and what I “want out of it.” Of course I have things I want to do in 2012 and things I want to accomplish or try, but I really have felt on my heart I need to learn to ENJOY the now and be all I can be in it! 2011 brought us a lot of new adventures with schooling, the new studio, worries of what’s to come and of course trials and tribulations. I often find myself in the past or thinking so much about the future. My husband and I are pretty big planners. We are constantly talking about what we want to do in the future, where we want to go and it doesn’t help much when his schooling is something that is going to be a long process so we are always planning for the changes that will bring. With this pressing on my heart I started asking God what area(s) I needed to enjoy, and what I need to focus on making “better” this New Year.
Of course my heart is to focus on our marriage. I think every married couple wants their marriage to be better, and I believe that every marriage has room to grow and learn. I felt God showing me areas in me that I was holding onto or fearing that somewhat inhibited our marriage from growing. I won’t go into all the details, but there are many areas I was holding onto. I felt like the urge to of course share with my husband and apologize to him. I shared how I wanted our marriage to be enjoyable! I want to focus more on us as a couple and our life, right now! Not compare to others or fear the high increase of marital divorce in our nation. I want to treasure the times we have together (even if it’s just a little bit each day). I long for a better communication between us too (this can be difficult when you feel like you never to get see each other). Increase of intimacy with each other(yes, psychically too ;) I understand that not much will change, meaning, we can’t change how much we get to go out on dates or snuggle at home (unfortunately life still has to go one and things still have to get done), but not to take for granted the times we do have and to really strive to make our marriage a replica of what love really is ( I know only God will ever be the perfect example of love)
I guess I can say I’ve felt like I needed an attitude adjustment when it comes to life and where I am right now. This was a few weeks ago, when I shared this to my husband, and of course he was glad to know and accepted this new “challenge” and attitude adjustment in our life.
I have noticed recently just the closeness that I have felt we have lacked over the few years. I think a lot of it has to do with me always worrying or thinking about the way things “should be.” And finally I have just been at peace in the moment. I really love where I am right now in life. Sure, there are things I wish were better and something’s that will discourage me and make life seem hard, but overall I have a wonderful life and a wonderful husband and I want to be all I can be a joy to him and to our marriage.
“A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises.
She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn't worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things,
but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!”
The Message- Proverbs 31:10-31
